Substack!! A word please

Full disclosure, this began as a note, but I got to the end and was about to “post” when I realized how long the note had become… that’s the kind of problem I have these days… And what is so strange about that is the fact that I used to have the exact opposite problem… I could be sat at a keyboard and find no motivation nor adequate language skills to convey all the nuance and texture of my thoughts. Plus, I’ve never felt like anyone would care to know what Andrew had to say lol. I still don’t think anyone cares to know! lol and that’s OK!

Ok, maybe someone can explain how I’m meant to rescale the image. The App’s UI is fighting me… remember, I’m old! lol This is a book from my childhood that stuck with me, probably primarily because it has my name in the title!

Lest there be any confusion, I had a very lovely childhood surrounded by people who I love (unconditionally) and who I knew (and still know) love me, unconditionally. I am blessed in so many ways, and that is one of the blessings/privileges for which I am most thankful. My point: I was in NO way neglected lol - love you, Mom! 😘 and if you’re here now Mom… why you here? lol! I worry about your worrying about me, and I don’t know that your being here is necessarily a good thing for either of us… idk but I love you always, of course! and you’re welcome in my life, even if it puts you all up in my bidness! Maybe just do me a favor and try to keep your worry to a minimum - it starts to make me doubt myself in ways that I don’t love. But, yep, maybe people are out to get me. That is always a possibility. But I am choosing to believe in the goodness of others until they demonstrate reason for me not to trust them.

I have to remind myself, I’m going for “stream of consciousness” energy here, and I want to try to be true to the natural sequence of thoughts and ideas. I have to stop myself from going back and deleting entire paragraphs - even pages of writing. And it’s not typically out of dissatisfaction with the way it reads, though I worry my writing voice may not sync up with others’ reading voice (if that makes any sense lol). OK, now, to the original “Note” that started the evening’s sequence of events.

But also, y’all I have so much reading to do, I’ve dug myself into a research project, evidently… sigh

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Substack, what bizarre/strange/mythical/witch-craftian/divine/natural/unnatural/holy/moly shenanigans are you up to!?

Does everyone have similarly unexplainable (inexplicable?) interactions on here?

I suspect not, because I suspect I would have read allll about it if y’all were having anything at all the kind of experience I’ve had…

so… I suppose all of this may sound only like the ravings of a person who has lost touch with reality… well, that’s not ideal… I don’t like that thought…

Ever feel like an (n-1) dimensional chess player facing an n dimensional chess player? lol

Well, I feel like (n-1) would be giving me way too much credit right now

I jump from one leading theory to the next, but inevitably one theory gets replaced by the next, each one crazier than the last!

I’m just going to be so heartbroken and disappointed if I’m just being led to someone trying to sell me something! That will break my heart, truly…

I feel like I’m standing at the gate [insert creepy_creaky_hinge_sound] of a vast labyrinth (and perhaps that’s exactly what it is, by design!) - will I chase my tail navigating the maze, scaling ramparts, etc, to get to the heart of the matter at hand, only to find a disembodied voice asking about “am I satisfied with my current service contract with super duper cellular?” Or like, a rick roll - the most elaborate rick roll ever?

please, don’t let it be that!

So… yeah… anyone… can anyone please shed a little light for a fellow traveler?

I am suspicious of you “daughters of” Substack… I see you all talking about witchcraft… 

Honestly, it’s among the theories that I have had to entertain - that’s the degree of strangeness we’re talking about. At this point, if it showed even a hint of explanatory power, it would perhaps be the leading explanation in my mind. lol and y’all, I like to think I’m generally pretty humble. But I know myself well enough to know that I’m not an unintelligent person, so for me to feel so utterly confused is a very new experience for me.

And, to be clear, I’m not talking about the obvious algorithmic hand that guides me (quite effectively!) to you crazy people and topics that I will find engaging. You may only be seeing this now, dear reader, because the algorithm has decided (to curse you! lol) that you and me should maybe get to know one another… They got that kind of stuff figured out pretty well, if you ask me, but that is NOT AT ALL what I’m talking about above. So…

Yeah… Substack, WTF mate? explain, please! please! puh-leaaaase! give me something more to go on? maybe?

you delight and confuse and terrify me

thanks

thanks a lot

(but really, I mean it) (but by “it” what do I mean?)

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